An Absence of Peace

In this article we look at the fleeting ability to obtain peace in this ever more connected world

Much can be understood from looking at stress and how it can or was overcome. For a large part of my adult life, I find myself dealing with trying to reduce my stress than actually trying to understand the root causes. Sometimes I wonder why does everyone feel stressed? I understand for some it could as a result of trying to figure out the best path to success in business or love or just life in general but I see myself stopping at the question, will stress ever stop? In present days’ relaxation comes at a cost as outlets that were initially meant to release stress now seem to be the root cause of stress. 

For instance, social media was a fun way to contact friends or stay in touch with the world but now it causes us a lot more stress that we care to even think about from constant updates on wars or a feed filled with negativity to comparison building jealousy.

Another example was trying to go on a nice holiday as a way to relieve the burden of our workload which now is almost impossible with the constant feeling of dread that fills the days as you are reachable, accessible and constantly in need due to the ever growing demands of the modern world.

Furthermore, with the constant pressure to take pictures or create content that excites followers/friends and prove you are having a great time and have made the right decision whether monetary or mentally, how does one unburden themselves and not continued to be let facts such as these weigh down your mind. It isn’t even just as simple as shutting off and relaxing anymore as even a few hours out of the loop could see you missing out on knowing if there could be a war, stock market crash or even a sudden disruption to the sanctuary you envision as home. 

Even the comfort of knowing you can work and retire at old age with money to take care of yourself seems almost an impossible dream to some as a larger part of that now goes into trying to relieve the stress of dealing with the threat of eminent chaos. It isn’t enough anymore to just try and unwind on a normal day with a good book or blog post, now it takes precise planning and accurate forecasting to take care of the most important thing you possess which undoubtedly is your mind. We talk about the growing need for a focus of mental health but should we talk more about the growing need for relieving the avenues that cause us stress in the first place. It is no longer enough to say just cut people or things that cause you stress out of your life because nowadays how do you even do that with constant reminders always available to you. You say I won’t follow them, well they still not have a profile? You say I won’t call them well there’s still email and so many other avenues to keep connected. With the growing connectivity how do you simply remove someone or something responsible for stress from your life? 

Now this doesn’t mean stressful things and situations should be dealt with or treated like the obstacles to true peace that they are but the question is will our ability to deal with stress continue to improve as we become more advanced or will it dwindle into obscurity. People sell this utopian idea of a world where robots will handle all the work that needs to be done and we as humans will just do more of the things we love and let us assume that does happen, is it impossible to think we will have new forms of stress to deal with?

I find the work I do on the day to day provides me with meaning and a reason to continue putting my best foot forward but without the need to do that, is it crazy to think my new form of stress would come from not having or knowing my purpose in life? They say if we can just give people a universal basic income then people can be free to pursue interest and have but what happen after having fun for so long things that were once fun or Brough us joy no longer are?

Do you immediately find something new or do you take time to search for something new and do we then ignore the fact that the time you take to search for something new then acts as a beacon for stress in your life? Stress and effort to relieve it will always be a question to ponder but the real issue is are we going in the right or wrong direction when coming up with ways to enhance the entire human experience when thinking about this ever expanding topic?

Distance: Questions about the future of Love part 1

A look into the future of love with the ever growing choices we have in the world.

In the 21st century, love has never been simpler but more complicated. Why? It is easier than ever to connect and disconnect with people you think you may or may not love but the question is, how beneficial is this? I as a person who has loved, been loved and seen the effects it has on the psyche find some questions I cannot answer. For example, will I ever find a partner for life or will I be lost in a pool of partners who give me fulfilment for the moment but not for moments?

Will the fact I care for someone now mean I will be unable to care for others in the future? Sometimes I ponder on the choices I made while in relationships and wonder if I had no other choices would the outcome still have remained the same? It’s easy to say life goes on and there’s plenty more fish in the sea but with the way life is going today, will the sea continue to be prosperous. Everywhere you turn your darkest desires can be met but what about the things that aren’t supposed to be easy to get?

Everyone screams about a soft and easy life but I question is life supposed to be so simple as the hardships or up and downs build an equilibrium which I believe is essential, so in a world running close to trying to extinguish what makes life difficult where does the new equilibrium stand? Even I am a guilty advocate for enjoying life but in terms of a relationship, I see the need for some hardships and I question what hardships are and aren’t acceptable as we progress in this ever increasingly pleasure filled times.

Does the need for peace of mind trump companionship or are we saying that because it is easy to find a companion, peace of mind is now at the forefront of our decisions? With the flick of a wrist a “companion” can show up and tell you whatever you need to hear but is that companion also ready for the difficulties that come with the tough times? Love when described in marriage vows look at a partnership supposed to last till death but nowadays people are only there for the good and say they didn’t sign up for the bad. It makes me wonder that if the good times don’t last as long as expected due to the ever increasing equilibrium of life and our demands, will the eventual bad times just make partners remember of the ever growing choices available to them?

I don’t think that doesn’t mean people aren’t allowed to change their minds but the rapid need for gratification and urgency in results we are growing to expect scares me because with an increase in this I wonder if people are really prepared for the bad times that eventually result in a form of equilibrium. 

To break it down further I believe it is much easier to maintain a long distance relationship with someone due to how many means of communication you now have, but is the connection stronger or is it just much easier to hide who you truly are? In a relationship where people have to actually connect in a confined space and learn everything about someone, reaction during the bad times cannot just be as easily masked or hidden by tapping a button as we learned during the pandemic.

However, building a longer term connection with someone over a phone can have a certain level of comfort which we can get accustomed to quite easily. It makes me ask the question in the future will people want to just have connections over technology or will they be willing to endure the bad moments or hardships that actually come from being in person with someone for prolonged periods of time. Examples we see growing are financial issues, mental health issues and just a general decline in certain aspects we began to get accustomed too. We understand that as humans we are obviously busy creatures with distinct things that give our lives meaning but what happens when those things now no longer require separation from our companion? What happens when we can go to school, work and conduct all physical requirements from the comfort of our homes? Will we want to be more or less connected from our companions? Will the feeling of being trapped increase and thereby lead us to try and have more choices or will this create a perfect situation and need for having a singular lifelong companion?

Karl’s Guide to making offline sales in the 21st century

A simple how to manual on the proper way to approach people, tell them about your product and close a sales. It covers prospecting, pitching and closing with examples of pitches you can practice.

Why Sales?

Since the dawn of time, human beings have always needed each other to survive because unfortunately the harsh realities of our world leaves no man an island. This means as much as we may feel we are invincible the overwhelming consensus across all of time has shown that there really is strength in numbers. What does this have to do with sales you may be asking yourself?  Well sales at its very core despite what it is currently being portrayed as, is basically informing people about your new way or thing that betters their life. In a perfect world people would automatically just know the best product to use at any given time and we wouldn’t need to tell them about any new developments but unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world. This means till that day comes, people will always need to be informed about new products and processes and you after reading this, will be fully equipped on how to best serve them.

How do I get started in sales?

The simple answer is find a product. It may seem overly simplified by the truth is, it really is not that complicated. Have a birthday gift? Try and sell it. Have clothes? Try and sell them. Have a phone? try and sell it. The key however is selling those items for higher than you either original bought or “borrowed” them for. The reason you want to do that is because the difference or your profit can be used to get another item capable of fetching you a bigger mark up. Now you have your product and you have someone in mind who may want to buy your product. How do you get started?

Could your phone keep you safer?

With safety being a major issue in our lives, this article explores a possible solution.

By Karl Idowu

The new-normal, before its emergence had the Old that had by the time of its premature extinction required an overdue mode of fine-tuning which made the new-normal ground rules ‘over’ over-due. However, due to the unprecedented appearance of the new normal, these adjustments are being re-worked still and might take decades to get 100% right. It is then a great delight to note that Nigeria is headed in the right direction with the creation of a preventive mode for the new-normal in the form of safety, security and information, all with the use of technology; on the MyRadar Application. This seem too good to be true, right? Well, I thought so too until I downloaded and installed the application on my device. And then I saw how much power I can wield in my fingers; power in knowing that you just a little bit safer in an unsafe world.As you would find on the ‘about’ of this App, My Radar is exclusively designed to help battle and limit the alarming surge of insecurity in Nigeria. Once you have the app on your device, and provide access to your location, this goes live, but have no worries because this is no way intrusive as it gives you the power to limit the access to your location by having just a much smaller community of people you decide to add into ‘your circle’. So, if you are someone like me who never enjoys picking up the phone to relay your location to ‘your people’ especially when going to new locations, all you just need to do is turn up your location, and voila, your circle knows where you are. If this isn’t preventive security I don’t know what is because as I have mentioned, My Radar is designed to provide plethora of more functions to include automatic access to emergency numbers in whatever location you are in in Nigeria. So, you have access to Fire department, Police and so onThe icing on the cake is that for your much larger community which My Radar also provides, you have the access to follow up with community news, events, traffic news and so on to better stay informed. You become a big part of this community in that you not only have access to get this information, you are also given the ability to provide this relevant information in relation to your location, your neighborhood. My Radar creates one big family of citizens of all demographics that watch out for one another. With My Radar, think daily Communal Dailies, think accessible Neighborhood Telephone Book, think human google traffic maps, think both family online and IRL. Amazing, right? I told you it would seem too good to be true! But, I can tell you for sure that My Radar absolutely delivers. Get it for yourself and your loved ones, available on google playstore.

Post graduate

Leaving school can be difficult so in this article we explore what it means to be a post graduate in modern times.

By Karl Idowu

Competition. Commitment. Consistency. It just so happens that all three of those words begin with the letter C. For that reason we will refer to them as the three C’s any post graduate must become familiar with in order to survive the ever evolving jungle known as the real world. Let’s first off establish what world I’m talking about here. Not the world where your parents come in to talk to an official to move you up the ladder. Not the world where your hard work is guaranteed to give you the outcomes you aspire for. Not the world where failure is alright because you can go home to a nicely prepared meal and a warm bed and can try again the next day. I’m talking about the world that will chew you and your ideals up and spit you right back out just because it felt like it. The world that doesn’t need a reason to take away everything you’ve ever believed or worked hard for. The world that doesn’t care who died in your life because time goes on regardless of whether you can.

• Competition: There are many roles to be filled, but there are many more qualified candidates competing for those roles. You must get used to the idea that no matter how far you’ve gone during your job application or how interested the company may seem in you, it only takes a second for someone better to come along and steal your thunder. You WILL be dropped without a second thought.

• Commitment: You can’t fake it. There is no substitute for hard work and passion. So if you think you can postpone writing that cover letter you needed for the position at your dream firm, think again. There’s someone out there who’s looking over her essay twice and putting finishing touches she discovered from a cool website that she managed to stumble upon just because she put in that extra effort. The opportunity won’t wait for you, so I recommend you don’t wait either.

• Consistency: Understand that failure is just as guaranteed, if not even more certain, than success. You can’t let minor setbacks and shortcomings demoralize you. Jack Ma (Alibaba Founder) was rejected from every single job position he ever applied for, including McDonald’s and even the police academy, but not before he was rejected a position at Harvard business school 10 different times. Your mindset is the most important factor in determining if you can become successful or not. When you fail, take notes, acknowledge the feeling, appreciate the experience, then get up and try again. It will go right at some point. I promise.

I wish this was all there was to it. I wish I could tell you that this is all you need to do to succeed. I wish life was this easy and that the real world was this transparent. But I’m not going to sell you false dreams. There will be situations you can’t predict or expect that will knock on your door and let itself in whether you welcome it or not. The only advice I can offer you is this. Focus less on the situation and more on yourself. The way you react, and respond during the most difficult and trying times of your life will go a long way in determining who you will be in the long run. Be a master of yourself first of before you even think of trying to tackle anything else. Your emotions, your habits, and every little detail you can about yourself. Here’s my reasoning for this; if you don’t even know who you are, how will you know how to react when something unexpected happens? The answer is you won’t know. Causing you to panic, which in turn will just drive you down a path of confusion, frustration and anger which will either be directed at yourself or at those around you. You are now well on your way to developing symptoms of depression, which are actually more common in the average millennial than any other generation (please look it up). Now you’re closer to landing a spot in a mental institution than at the company of your dreams. Its fine though. Things don’t have to go that way, and in fact, things most likely won’t go that way, because you’re reading this, good job! So establish what your beliefs are, the type of person you believe yourself to be now and the type of person you aspire to be in a year, 5 years, 10 years, and never let anyone or anything make you doubt yourself. Trust that as long as you are in control, then nothing can go wrong. And when things do go wrong, still have that belief at the back of your mind that you are capable of handling the situation, because you are! If you are successful in doing this, then no one will ever be able to alter your confidence and self-belief ever again, let it be Bill Gates or Barack Obama. So put on your lab coat, your hard hat, your badge, your uniform, or in my case, the suit you’ve kept at the back of your closet that you’ve been saving for your first day on the job, and go out there expecting the worst but praying for the best.

Alone

In this article, we explore what it is to be alone and does being alone really make us lonelier or is it just a natural part of life. Continue reading to find out more

Before you continue have you felt true loneliness? Not the easily remembered kind like friends going out without you or being stuck in a rut after a breakup. No not that loneliness but i mean a feeling of loneliness that can only be described as a longing to belong, a longing to understand yourself. I’m referring to a constant loneliness that is derived by an inability to look past previous experiences. This kind of loneliness creates a bubble in which the outside world is perceived as nothing but your attackers and enemies. Although you know physically you’re fine this loneliness consumes every fiber of your being. It tells your brain you cannot trust, you cannot love,you begin to convince yourself you’re a burden to the world and to people around you.

You feel truly cast out from society (an outcast) but not necessarily because you are an outcast but this feeling i’m talking about is able to consume you and make you feel truly alone even in a crowded room, with friends and family. Every little moment becomes a search for acceptance from the people closest to you. Every task in life you secretly don’t want to do but have to because people expect a large amount of give and take.You are never truly able to find peace due to this constant obsession with finding the answers the mortality, purpose and sometimes life outside the bubble.You have this constant pressure put on you by others, you live in a constant state of fear of public opinion, public scrutiny and lack of general acceptance over who are. This is the loneliness I am referring to. It is a dark, cold and empty place only you know the feeling and only you can understand how to deal with it obviously but if it was that simple you would have the answers and probably would have already eradicated the issues but you don’t or can’t seem to.

This loneliness often leads you to create a bubble of comfort.These comforts keep you happy, entertained and allow you to temporarily forget about your problems but these are not replacements for the hurt you feel and you know this. They are distractions from the real world. They help make you feel empowered when you’re not, beautiful when you feel ugly, rich when your skint but to each their own. Some people turn to food as a way of suppression, some turn to alcohol and some turn to marijuana like substances (drugs). These at some point begin to seem like the only hold you have to reality, your only grip on sanity or even your only true way of getting through interactions with others. Now these substances allow you to close your eyes at night and not have those long conversations with yourself like you used to. They help you forget there’s noone there.They help reduce your fear of tomorrow.They help you feel like you have a purpose and you aren’t just another remnant from the big bang. These substances are not to be touched by others because they are your only source of inspiration and motivation, they cause disputes with friends, family and cause relationships to fail. An example may include a push from a girlfriend asking you to stop smoking weed or friends not consulting  you because these substances cloud your judgement. They begin to feel used, unappreciated and see themselves as your substance providers only needed when you feel an itch for abuse.

You begin to feel that these substances are your only escape and only hope for survival in this crazy world. The bubble they create is wonderful and it keeps your sanity but for how long will that last?The bubble is thick, closing in and suddenly you are beginning to feel as if your creation is killing you. The bubble is your safety,it has your connections, it allows you interact with others without real physical interaction, you feel safe but we forget it’s just a bubble. Back to the first question,have you felt true loneliness? Is it a figment of the imagination or maybe it is just part of the process of growth in life.Detachments, anxiety and continued depression are just things we as humans have to deal with, some more than others. Most instruments of pleasure tend to slowly but ultimately reduce our best before date  so why do we decide to reduce our lifespans in an effort to curb the loneliness.It is a question i have no answer to but i would like to say you are not alone in these feelings. Maybe knowledge of that might bring some sort of warmth or maybe it may not but one thing remains certain and has been proven time and time again.

The bubble will burst. It may not be today , tomorrow or even in a timeframe you can imagine but it will because it’s either you find a solution or allow the bubble consume you. Nothing replaces human interaction as a cure for the loneliness described above. Not the human interaction gotten from posting a picture for likes or the interaction from the likes of twitter but real personal close quarters interaction. The anxiety that comes along with being able to share and open up with people will always remain an issue but what remains important is being able to understand human interaction will always be a give and take because life is filled with these moments. Someone will stab you in the back, others will talk behind your back but all i can say is you never know what the outcome will be without trying. Substances create a wonderful short term experience but will ultimately be your downfall when dealing with issues of loneliness because they don’t deal with the long term issues but create a short term bubble for you the stay in a state of utter confusion about where life is headed and when the day is done you see that you’re not any better off than when you began.

The Leader

What does it mean to lead? In this article we explore what it means to be a leader

By Karl Idowu

Throughout history, much has been written about what it means to be a leader. Ancient Chinese military general and Art of War author Sun Tzu described a leader as one who cultivates the moral law, and strictly adheres to proper methods and discipline." Nineteenth-century historian Thomas Carlyle believed leaders were born and not made, while English philosopher Herbert Spencer argued that leaders were the result of the society in which they lived.

The decades that followed brought countless studies and research reports that detailed a wide variety of leadership skills, styles and characteristics, with researchers identifying a distinct leader. Some authors even devoted their work to all the personal factors that influence an individual approach to management. With all of these differing schools of thought, it’s clear that there is no single definition of leadership. What works for one leader may not necessarily work for another, depending on the circumstances and personality type. But there one thing that nearly every academic, historian and even leaders themselves agree upon a true leader must be able to inspire his or her team.

Leaders can get the best out of people.

Top leaders are consistent with their approach, get their hands dirty and create a company culture that will last long after he or she has left. Comfort zones are almost nonexistent under strong leadership because each team member is pushed to their full potential. Great leaders also hire and inspire other great leaders, whom they trust to carry out the company mission and instil a sense of purpose that touches each and every staff member.

Leadership is all about giving and serving.

It is lonely at the top, but that is no excuse for not giving generously of your time, your experience and your encouragement to your team — and never expecting any of that in return. You are the person in the unique position of finding or uncovering strengths in people, leveraging them and celebrating them. If you’re going to lead, and lead well, you have to put it all out there every day, regardless of the outcome.Leaders who hold back will eventually hold their teams back

Leaders are described with a mouthful of adjectives, such as passionate, visionary, charismatic, motivational and encouraging. However, I propose leadership is something simpler. It is ambition. Ambition creates hard work, determination and an unconditional desire to achieve. It generates an absolutely contagious energy that people follow and join naturally. If you are a leader in your organisation, there is only one thing you need to understand about your role: never let your ambition fade.

Good leaders have a good attitude. A good leader can hold his or her emotions in check, especially in tough situations. For example, maybe you lost your best client, or a deal you’ve been working on falls through. Regardless, it’s important for leaders to guide a team through challenging times, encouraging them and remaining positive along the way. Team morale is heavily contingent upon a leader’s attitude.

Leadership means being in touch with your people.

A leader places the people around him or her in a position that sets them up for success. This is a difficult task because a leader must have an in-depth understanding of each individual, such as understanding their career goals and knowing what motivates them. By being committed to helping each person achieve their own personal goals, the leader sets the organisation up for greatness. Leaders are [also] good listeners. They listen to verbal and nonverbal cues to understand [what is] occurring in the organisation. This allows you to address problems before they become big issues.

Leaders set the right example.

Leadership is setting an example in the way you act each day while focusing on the bigger picture. It is about setting the tone for your team and organisation in the way you interact with your own staff, your business partners and your customers. As a leader, it is your responsibility to establish goals, innovate, motivate and trust. A passionate and compassionate leader can energise a company. Set an example of cooperation, trust and openness. Focus on solutions and positivity instead of finding faults and blame for actions.

Leaders cannot stand alone.

The out-and- out leader in today’s volatile and uncertain business environment had better not distance him or herself from the heat of the action.Demonstrating the competence to assess, decide and execute in a growing business drives confidence in the leader. Similarly, a great leader of an enterprise stands on the shoulders, not of managerial Muppets who obediently do as they are directed, but of other leadership giants who have different and complementary leadership skills. A business with only one leader will remain forever a small business.

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